Love One Another

{encouragement} Love others even when you don't feel like it

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love 1 John 4:7-8
----------------------------------------
Loving others is hard. Loving others when you don't feel like is even harder. Loving others especially when you don't think they deserve it - well that seems impossible. During this season of life my girls, ages 4.5 and 2.9, are learning how to play with each other pretty well. Some moments can bring out so much happiness and deep rooted joy but on the other hand it can end up on the other side of the spectrum, that's where it can look ugly. Sin issues come blasting out -the yelling, screaming, crying, and sometimes hitting. 

It's funny with kids, just like adults, they all have different personalities and learning types. With my older one, just raising my voice can scare the bajeebers out of her; as for my little one, well - let's just say even on volume 10 of my vocal chords, that won't even make her blink. So needless to say, discipline training for both girls are a bit different. However, no matter what the situation or what type of personality they have- what it comes down to is the heart of the issue-sin/selfishness. From an article I read, it states: "Sin is not just the bad things that we do.  It is also those things that we should do that we don’t." (http://waynestocks.com/2009/09/21/5-things-kids-must-know-about-sin-1-what-is-sin/)

Many times the conflict between the two girls is wanting things their own way and a lack of communication and understanding.  For instance, KA would be preoccupied making a fort or castle out of the chairs, blankets, boxes that are around the house.  She would have a goal in mind of how that fort or castle should look like.  Little Babester comes along with no idea of what her sissy is doing and takes one of the chairs and sits on it.  Oh boy, does that upset KA! So, KA decides to just grab the chair back and claim what is in her mind, rightfully hers.  This leads to an upset little Babester and decides to grab that very chair, which in her mind is rightfully hers, right back. Mine, Mine, Mine! is now what both parties are barking. No one is thinking of the other's well being. So who is to claim the chair?  Well, that's when the referee (Mom) comes into play to work out the issue together. 

Often times I am a bit tired of saying the same thing: "Share with each other," Love one another," "Be kind to each other" but it's the repetition that is needed to make it soak into their little hearts. So in the instance of the chair, I would have both close together and talk it out.  Who really needs it or how can this issue be resolved in the most loving way? What is more loving and pleasant - work together or play alone? Can Babester borrow this chair for a bit and maybe another chair can be used? Can you help KA build the castle to make it a better one? It took much practice and instances to get to the point where KA would surrender her will and think of Babester's well being but by the grace of God, she's getting there. And for Babester - it took a long while to work with her heart issue but she's seeing the rewards of a peaceful relationship with older sis.  She too has been practicing love and thinking of others above herself. {Thank the Lord!} ...but still is a work in progress.

So lately even when the wrong was done, I do have them hug each other and show love and affection. Even when they don't feel like it. Putting those nasty fires of selfishness out with love and affection strengthens the kinship. It really does take tireless repetition and investment of time and effort while they are young, but hopefully one day all these little moments of practicing love towards others (even when you don't feel like) will permeate into more complicated relationships and friendships in the future. 

**Little side note: this is a daily lesson for me as well, to think about with Hubby. Even though I'm constantly preaching this lesson of love-others-even-when-you're-not-up-for-it to the kids but also to myself.  I have to remind myself even when I'm tired, or even if I've had the kids all day, cooked/cleaned endlessly, to keep a good and cheerful attitude is a way I can show love, even when I'm not up for it. I recently heard a talk from a godly woman/wife/mother talking about how to prefer your husband and maybe on another post I can share my notes on that :0)**

Here they are walking to the slide. Babester asked if KA could slide down with her, and KA responded "sure!"

Using their team work skills to tear as much paper up to fill up the toy box. Yep, that is their kind of fun.

Holding KA on the waiting seat of the bathroom (Left). Singing some kind of song and making a choir of it (Right).

-------------------------------------------------

Parenting Training Event

On another note, Hubby and I signed up for a parent training event with Tedd Tripp, author of "Shepherding a Child's Heart" for this Saturday, November 2nd at Crossline Community Church. He'll be discussing some parenting wisdom from a biblical point of view.  Sign up if you're interested on their website, click here , it's only $10 for registration.