Date the Man You Married

{encouragement} Take the time to date your husband, and by dating it means to have "a 
social or romantic appointment or engagement" (taken from the dictionary).

"Your desire shall be for your husband" Genesis 3:16 

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A few weeks ago we had a speaker talk about "How to Date the Man you Married" in Navigating Motherhood (a program for moms that offers practical encouragement to life). Thanks Shannon! This was extremely encouraging because we can sometimes lose sight of our spouse when the busy-ness of raising kids, tending housework and holding down the fort squeezes out all our energy, support and love. Often times we end up taking our husband for granted and seeing him as a roommate or even a house mate. I definitely don't want my hubby feeling that way so I try to catch myself before it starts.

I understand that we are all busy and when we have little ones, it makes it difficult to have 1:1 time with Hubby, or any time yourself for that matter! I have to confess that Hubby and I didn't have many "going out dates" when the babes were infant stage, so that would mean going on months without heading out as just adults! However looking back I would say that even having some 1:1 time at home was good enough for us at that season of life. Sometimes our "date" would mean just sitting on the couch and asking each other how the day went, or what was going on with our lives.  Just as long as there were no distractions of little voices.  Some dates would be making dumplings, baking cookies, or watching a movie at home. When it comes down to it- just have some 1:1 time with your Man, the guy you fell in love with because he was the one who swept you off your feet once ago.  

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I wanted to share with you my notes I took from the topic:

1.) Prefer (meaning Promote/Advance) Your Husband

• A.) Treat Him Like you Used to :  Prefer him over your kids. Prioritize him over friends. Make the meals that your Man wants to eat and not necessarily just what the kids want.
• B.) Treat Him Like How you Wanted to Be Treated
• C.) Don't Wait for Him to Prefer you First: take initiation.  See the "Father & Mother" relationship as a healthy sighting for your children.

2.) Date Your Husband

• A.) Make it a Priority-make it intentional, pick a day and get face to face time
• B.) Re-Get to Know Him and Be engaged: set aside the phone and don't pick it up.  Sit side by side with him and be close. Take up a hobby together.
• C.) Woo Him
• D.) Make Some Plans for a date: Get a babysitter or swap children with another couple and have 1:1 time with your husband. Bring lunch/dinner to the beach, hold hands, Get coffee, take rides on a bike, go to the ocean and enjoy the scenery, take a hike

3.) Respect Your Husband

• A.) Respect His Desire to Work and Provide
• B.) Respect His Opinions on Finances
• C.) Respect His Thoughts, Even if They do not Agree with Yours

Have some fun together! Doesn't have to cost anything or be extravagant!

 

The Centrality of the Heart

{encouragement] Teach the kids to love others more than themselves.

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:37-39

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Today when I picked KA up from school, her teacher told me she cried because a classmate said she couldn't play with her. My heart was understanding but not sad.  I wasn't sad because this is a learning lesson for her. Just last week she was the one who made another friend cry - all because of a selfish will and unloving heart. Today's incident at school showed her how it feels to be on the receiving end of a selfish will and unloving heart. A total teaching moment to be seized -that's for sure.

Yesterday the kids learned how to sign love.  I wanted to show them this sign because it'll serve as a reminder of what's really important when we do the every day things. This was a perfect illustration for today's school incident. Whether it's saying good morning to our family members, greeting our classmates when we arrive at school, or playing with friends - there is love that needs to abound and take precedence. We really don't need to teach our kids to go first, or take what they think is theirs, or act in a manner that pleases them - that's all sin talking - and they are born with it. We are all born in sin. [Psalm 51.1] And according to Jeremiah 17:9: The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

This illustration is taken from the Training Hearts for Jesus website. The position of the hand expresses the letter “I” and “L” in sign language, and together expressing, “I love you”. The “I” represents the child’s choice and decision. It is a symbol of commitment. The “L” represents the word love. Quoting Matthew 22:37, 39 the first part of this verse, “Love the Lord your God…” is shown in the pointer finger as it is directed to heaven, showing his vertical relationship with God. 

Taken from: http://traininghearts4jesus.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Session-1-Getting-to-the-Heart-of-Behavior.pdf

So when a social conflict arises I'll be flashing the hand sign of love instead of those glaring eyes of disappointment. 

And here are some pictures of the girls taking care of their "neighbors" and showing love by caring for them :) so cute to see little friends take care of other little friends!

On a little side note -last night KA and Babester remembered their hand sign. The in laws were coming over for dinner so when the kids were watching them walk up the driveway - the kids flashed them the love hand sign through the window. Wondered if they knew what it meant? or if they just looked like little hoodlums. :)

A Night of Wisdom with Dr. Tedd Tripp

{encouragement} Share With Others What You've Learned

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:24-25

I honestly can say that I'm not a smart cookie.  My hubby (who is smart cookie) can read something,learn it right away and teach it back to others. For me, it takes repetition and constant cycling to process the information just to have it soak in for myself! And often times, I forget. For instance,just tonight when I was showering I couldn't remember whether or not I had shampoo'ed my hair-so I think I ended up doing it twice. There's a mommy brain for you. 

When it comes to our children, we want what's "best" for them because we love them right? So what does that really mean- What is best for them? and how do we show love to them? Before having kids I had a different perspective of what it meant to be a "good parent" - giving them a ton of praise, showing love and affection with encouragement and lots of kisses and hugs, use positive reinforcement and very little negative words, etc. All those are definitely good things but if you don't have the central message to hold it's ground - every good intention you have can lead to a dangerously created self destructive, self-centered being.

Last night Hubby and I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Tedd Tripp, author of Shepherding a Child's Heart , provide wisdom and insight to biblical parenting.  Some friends couldn't make it so I thought I would share the notes I took.  There wasn't a formal outline provided so it's just what I wrote. Hopefully it's clear and easy to understand!

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What is a Family? A Night of Wisdom with Dr. Tedd Tripp

1.) The Family/Home is a Theological Learning Community (to Learn about God)
 The interpretation of life comes from family and creates a perspective. So it's important to set the right tone for children.  Children are wired to worship.  Children will either worship God or idols. They are subtle idols of the heart.

• Teach children the worthiness of God - Psalm 145:4
• Show them the wonders of God
• Dazzle your kids with the power of God - God should be on display all the time as a glorious and magnificent God.
• Children see the world through a lens, which lens are your children looking through? Do they see a high view of God?

Ex: The sun is in the center of all the planets.  The planets circulate around the sun being that is the core of their existence.  So God, like the sun, needs to be in the center of our lives, the main weight and mass that holds everything together (i.e. school, marriage, relationships, career, friendships)

References: Daniel 3- He does Hill will; Malachi 3:6- "I the Lord do not change"; Ephesians 2, Romans 15:5; Psalm 62

2.) The Family/Home is a Sociological Learning Center (Loving Neighbors)

• Children are social beings, there will be social conflicts everyone. Examples include- slandering one another, fighting, greed, envy)
• James 4: Quarrels come from yourself, not people outside and what they do to you.  You are to look inside at the wars within.
• Even as parents, we have desires waging war inside ourselves (i.e wanting kids to respond a certain way because it's your will that you want to be done).
• Children can learn the ugliness of self love if you show them where love comes from and what it is.  
• Own Desires vs. Christ Desires

3.) The Family/Home is a Redemptive Community Learning Place (To keep the Gospel central)

• Develop structure in the home where the Gospel is in the center.  The core of the problem is themselves.  They are in need of Christ and the grace of God.
• Ex: "Just be nice" attitude removes the need for grace and the Gospel.  love others like you love yourself
• Explain that you can't love others from the heart because you can't do things on your own.  But Christ came to the world to free us from the compulsive self love.  There is hope for us.  Jesus came into the world as flesh, experienced the world as a human, but sinless, to redeem us as a perfect sacrifice.
• SIN ISSUE: Self centeredness, pride, selfish, own will
• Stand in solidarity with your child, talk eye to eye and talk about sin issues - not just the behavioral issues
• Titus 3: Grace motivates righteous behavior 
• Embrace living under redemptive grace of God, which motivates to do good by the grace of God
• Your weakness won't keep you from God, but your strengths will.

There were 2 books recommended:



I bought the Shepherding a Child's Heart when KA was only 6 months so I have some re-reading and catching up to do!  And for the Child Training Tips book, I just bought that at our church bookstore for $8.  Again, I am no avid reader so getting on these books will need some encouragement for myself!  I found some online worksheets to provide an outline for me to follow, divided into sections of bible verse memory, passage review and application questions.

Just printed these babies out so they are hot off the press and ready for me to dig into! Hopefully you'll be encouraged to purchase these books if you haven't already and dig into what it means to have the right parenting - Biblical parenting.

Session 1 : Getting to the Heart of the Behavior (Just Chapter 1)

http://traininghearts4jesus.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Session-1-Getting-to-the-Heart-of-Behavior.pdf

Shepherding a Child's Heart: Chapter by Chapter Questions (Chapters 1-15)

http://ebookbrowsee.net/gdoc.php?id=592990573&url=e8c22873f1b3dcbc95dcbb5e76eacb15

Easy Peasy Chicken and Sauteed Green Beans with Garlic

{encouragement} Cook meals that are "QET" (Quick, Easy, Tasty!)

Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. And as I gave you the green plants, I give you everything. Genesis 9:3 

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Finding meals to cook seem like a full time job! There's the research put into what to cook, then buying the groceries, preparing the ingredients and the actual cooking time. With little ones around that makes the task a little more challenging.  However, when I do find a recipe that is quick, easy and tasty then it becomes a staple in our meal schedule.  

Easy Peasy Chicken 

Ingredients:

• 1-2 Packages of Chicken Thighs (can use Large Chicken Wings), from Costco
• Seasonings: Powdered Garlic, Garlic Salt, Brown Sugar, Cumin (or other spices and favorite seasonings you use)

Directions:  (Best if chicken is marinated over night)

1. Line aluminum tray with foil (if you're planning on saving it otherwise the tray will really be hard to clean.
2. Lay out the chicken on the tray - can accommodate up to 6 large thighs. Just make sure they're not overlapping.
3. Season with powered garlic, garlic salt, brown sugar, cumin (or really any spices that are your favorite). Sometimes I've used French onion dip, or teriyaki sauce etc
4. Marinate overnight.
5. When you're ready to bake - Preheat oven to 500 degrees.
6. Drizzle chicken with olive oil to prevent burning.
7. Place chicken in oven and bake for 30 minutes.
8. For a touch of sweet, in the last 5 minutes, baste with honey and sesame oil.

Below are some pictures just for visual: 

• 1-2 Packages of Chicken Thighs (can use Large Chicken Wings), from Costco

 

• Seasonings: Powdered Garlic, Garlic Salt, Brown Sugar, Cumin (or other spices and favorite seasonings you use)

Lay out the chicken on the tray - can accommodate up to 6 large thighs. Just make sure they're not overlapping.

Finished product- super moist chicken that is served well on it's own or over a bed of rice.  Sometimes I cook extra chicken and use the juices from the pan and toss with noodles. Super delish!

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Sauteed Green Beans with Garlic

Ingredients:

• 3 tablespoons of minced garlic  -I love garlic so I probably put in 3x more as really necessary. So go based on your preference.
• 1 lb of Green Beans
• 2 Tbsp olive oil

Directions:

1. Heat oil in a wok on medium heat.
2. Throw garlic in and saute for about 1 minute.
3. Toss in the green beans and mix it up so the oil coats the beans.
4. Cover and let cook for a 5 minutes.
5. Add a few pinches of kosher salt.
6. Depending on how crunchy or tender will make the cooking time more or less.  I usually cook mine for 10 minutes so it's nice and tender.

Finished product - tender green beans that are bursting with flavor with only a pinch of salt involved.  Love the browned garlic mixed into my rice.

Love One Another

{encouragement} Love others even when you don't feel like it

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love 1 John 4:7-8
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Loving others is hard. Loving others when you don't feel like is even harder. Loving others especially when you don't think they deserve it - well that seems impossible. During this season of life my girls, ages 4.5 and 2.9, are learning how to play with each other pretty well. Some moments can bring out so much happiness and deep rooted joy but on the other hand it can end up on the other side of the spectrum, that's where it can look ugly. Sin issues come blasting out -the yelling, screaming, crying, and sometimes hitting. 

It's funny with kids, just like adults, they all have different personalities and learning types. With my older one, just raising my voice can scare the bajeebers out of her; as for my little one, well - let's just say even on volume 10 of my vocal chords, that won't even make her blink. So needless to say, discipline training for both girls are a bit different. However, no matter what the situation or what type of personality they have- what it comes down to is the heart of the issue-sin/selfishness. From an article I read, it states: "Sin is not just the bad things that we do.  It is also those things that we should do that we don’t." (http://waynestocks.com/2009/09/21/5-things-kids-must-know-about-sin-1-what-is-sin/)

Many times the conflict between the two girls is wanting things their own way and a lack of communication and understanding.  For instance, KA would be preoccupied making a fort or castle out of the chairs, blankets, boxes that are around the house.  She would have a goal in mind of how that fort or castle should look like.  Little Babester comes along with no idea of what her sissy is doing and takes one of the chairs and sits on it.  Oh boy, does that upset KA! So, KA decides to just grab the chair back and claim what is in her mind, rightfully hers.  This leads to an upset little Babester and decides to grab that very chair, which in her mind is rightfully hers, right back. Mine, Mine, Mine! is now what both parties are barking. No one is thinking of the other's well being. So who is to claim the chair?  Well, that's when the referee (Mom) comes into play to work out the issue together. 

Often times I am a bit tired of saying the same thing: "Share with each other," Love one another," "Be kind to each other" but it's the repetition that is needed to make it soak into their little hearts. So in the instance of the chair, I would have both close together and talk it out.  Who really needs it or how can this issue be resolved in the most loving way? What is more loving and pleasant - work together or play alone? Can Babester borrow this chair for a bit and maybe another chair can be used? Can you help KA build the castle to make it a better one? It took much practice and instances to get to the point where KA would surrender her will and think of Babester's well being but by the grace of God, she's getting there. And for Babester - it took a long while to work with her heart issue but she's seeing the rewards of a peaceful relationship with older sis.  She too has been practicing love and thinking of others above herself. {Thank the Lord!} ...but still is a work in progress.

So lately even when the wrong was done, I do have them hug each other and show love and affection. Even when they don't feel like it. Putting those nasty fires of selfishness out with love and affection strengthens the kinship. It really does take tireless repetition and investment of time and effort while they are young, but hopefully one day all these little moments of practicing love towards others (even when you don't feel like) will permeate into more complicated relationships and friendships in the future. 

**Little side note: this is a daily lesson for me as well, to think about with Hubby. Even though I'm constantly preaching this lesson of love-others-even-when-you're-not-up-for-it to the kids but also to myself.  I have to remind myself even when I'm tired, or even if I've had the kids all day, cooked/cleaned endlessly, to keep a good and cheerful attitude is a way I can show love, even when I'm not up for it. I recently heard a talk from a godly woman/wife/mother talking about how to prefer your husband and maybe on another post I can share my notes on that :0)**

Here they are walking to the slide. Babester asked if KA could slide down with her, and KA responded "sure!"

Using their team work skills to tear as much paper up to fill up the toy box. Yep, that is their kind of fun.

Holding KA on the waiting seat of the bathroom (Left). Singing some kind of song and making a choir of it (Right).

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Parenting Training Event

On another note, Hubby and I signed up for a parent training event with Tedd Tripp, author of "Shepherding a Child's Heart" for this Saturday, November 2nd at Crossline Community Church. He'll be discussing some parenting wisdom from a biblical point of view.  Sign up if you're interested on their website, click here , it's only $10 for registration. 

{encouragement} Come out to Fall Fest at Compass Bible Church

Looking around our neighborhood its been infiltrated with some scary goblins, skeletons, flying witches, ghosts and just morbid objects. 

I personally don't like these decorations and don't really want to be walking around them especially at night.  If you're on the same boat and want a more lovely but energetic environment then come out to Fall Fest held at Compass Bible Church.  There'll be rock climbing, train rides, race carts, pony rides, ferris wheels, kiddie corral area with live music, lots of fun game booths and tons of candy! All for FREE ;) As for food-there will be In n Out burgers, hot dogs , churros, cotton candy and beverages (at a cost) so you can eat there too!

My family will be at the game booths from 7-8pm so stop by for a visit!

Hope to see you there!

Family Photos

{encouragement}: take (decent) family photos

But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children--Psalm 103:17

I'm sure many of us busy ladies can attest to having pictures mainly of the little ones or of other people, but not many where all of the family members are together.  Together as a family unit, where all eyes are looking in the same direction, and where all the smiles are for the same cause.  Back in September we were able to get a formal family shoot done. This was only because I won a holiday giveaway and shoot was free.  So kid you not- we probably wouldn't have done one because photographers are quite pricey! I couldn't slap half a grand down for pictures! However after talking to a few friends it came to my understanding that you don't really have to pay a fortune for these things to get done.  Some found Groupon deals, a friend to take the shots with a nice camera or just a junior photographer finding their way into the professional world.  I always thought you had to get those big shot, top dogs to take your family pics - but now I know -there are ways around it!  

Taking these family photos was NOT an easy task. KA (firstborn) is not much of a cooperative picture taker and really could care less if her pictures are forever stamped with her mad dog look. And for Babester (second born) she would do a whole lot more, just as long as there was some incentive to it (i.e. "special treats" like gummies).  However when it came to smiling and saying "cheese" Babester took it to the extreme (as you'll soon see below).  So taking that picture perfect family photo took way longer that I expected-like 2 1/2 hours long! Thankful for the patience and silliness between the photographer and her assistant, we were able to get a few decent shots.  So encouragement for this post is to take the time to get together as a family, with decent clothes, and say "cheese!"

Yes this is Babester's "Cheese" face. Cheesing so hard her eyes aren't showing!

 

Glad the photographer caught this one.  They really do love each other.

 

The parents' face must have started creasing because we were smiling so hard and for so long just to get the kids to put on decent smiles.

  

Clicking the best photo for this setting took the longest! First the kids didn't want to sit on our laps, then they didn't B didn't want to sit on my lap, then KA didn't wan to sit on Daddy's lap... yea, headache!

 

Oh my little KA.  She is getting better at smiling for the camera- just got to do the right things to make her smile!

 

Glad we got this shot of B.  Sometimes life seems rushed where she is forced to grow up too fast and catch up with older sis.  It's good to be a kid.

 

Need to take more pictures with this wonderful and adorable piece of MAN

 

The girls here are really laughing it out loud! Thanks to the Assistant playing peek a boo with them behind the photographer and her instruments.  Hey, whatever it takes to keep them going.  And yea, you notice what's in their hands?

 

Daddy is their hero.  At least for another 20 years ... right?

 

 These little feet won't stay little for long. sniff sniff.

 

Yep, ending the show with what kept them going...gummy worms!